When to Keep Your Mouth Shut...

even the cart tells you not to do it!

Every time I go shopping I have a small dialogue in my head, and it gets louder each time it happens.  Well, maybe not every time, but damn near every time.

I see parents pushing along their shopping carts with their baby buckets perched on top of the child seat part.  The baby buckets are always full of baby.

I did this...a lot.  Even when Oliver's carrier didn't quite fit snugly on top of the cart, I'd perch him up there and tell myself silly things like, "I'm right here holding the carrier, nothing can go wrong."

Then I read a story about a mom's friend pushing the shopping cart with a baby bucket on top over a speed bump in the parking lot.  The cart tipped over and off came the car seat: the 3 month old baby died later.

First, if I was the friend pushing the cart I think I might be traumatized for life.
Second, this story scared the crap out of me: how many times had I done that very thing and put my baby boy at risk?

I didn't learn about the dangers of putting baby buckets on top of shopping carts until Oliver was sitting in the cart with a blanket behind him (for padding).  I wish someone had told me sooner.

So therein lies the debate: should I say anything to this complete stranger?

On the one hand, I usually have a baby in my own cart, which might make it less awkward if I were to explain why I'm sticking my nose in their business.  And I know I would have appreciated someone telling me in a non-aggressive way that what I was doing was dangerous.

On the other hand, I'm super awkward to begin with, and I know that a lot of people wouldn't take kindly to some random person coming up to them and telling them about how they're doing something wrong.

I just can't decide what to do here.  Part of that is because I believe community has kind of died - I take neighbours knowing nothing about each other as evidence of this - and the other part is because I'm just plain scared of a negative reaction. 

I know the right choice is to speak up, but no one ever said the right thing was the easy thing.

What would you do?

Playing House.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I tend to go until I can't go any longer.  This is pretty much true for everything I do, including housework, which leads to a lot of overwhelmed freak-out moments on my part.  It wasn't easy to learn how to mitigate that partly because I can be an ox about things, and partly because I was too busy being overwhelmed by things.

What I finally did was create a cleaning schedule:
Monday is bathroom day, Tuesday is bedroom day, etc.

This has been enormously helpful because it makes me concentrate on one room at a time.  That way, I'm not looking at the entire house and saying, "holy cow, what a mess!" and wondering how I'm going to even begin tackling it.
Not only that but with cleaning in 30 minute to an hour intervals, the majority of my day is freed to do other things like play with the little one, or pay attention to the dog.

So now I recommend this solution to anyone who is having trouble because it has cut my stress level in half, if not more.

Keeping this house has been a learning experience all around.  It's been hard; whoever says being a stay-at-home-mom is easy has clearly never done it before.  Or they're rich and can afford to hire help.
It's difficult having sole responsibility for something so large, especially when things go wrong.
For instance, the sprinkler system broke because I was pregnant when I winterized it last year and I did it wrong out of sheer forgetfulness.  This resulted in the main valve freezing and developing a crack.  So until I can get it looked at, we have to water by hand.  It takes 3.5 hours to do that...  Most of it's down time, but every 30 minutes I have to walk outside and reposition the sprinkler head.  Annoyingly inconvenient, to say the least.  Not to mention it cuts into my nap time.

On the whole, having a house is nice.  Both hubby and I like to entertain, so having a guest bedroom has been pretty awesome.  One day I'll be even better at managing my time.
The goal is to be able to do something fun for me at least three times a week, if not every day.  Because if I can't get me time I tend to be overwhelmed faster and with more fury.

Cloth Diapering

Here is a breakdown of what the current cloth diapering supplies I am using cost me:

• $55.14 - diaper pail and 4 laundry bags.  Ordered online.
• $6.84 - snappi.  Ordered online.
• $70.61 - 22 prefold diapers.  Ordered online.
• $19.99 - one all in one and one diaper cover. Ordered online.
• $13.79 - two diaper covers.  Ordered online.
• $5.00 - diaper cover.  Purchased at Colorado Baby in Grand Junction.

The grand total comes to $171.37.  This does not include the covers and all in one I have that no longer fit Oliver.  I also left out the diaper sprayer I purchased for half off online and the extra snappis I got in Grand Junction.  I left these items out because I'm not using them currently and I wanted an idea of what my current start-up cost was.
So there it is: $171.37.  I'm not sure why, but I expected a lower number.

Now, let's break that down:

I change 75 diapers a week (from midnight Monday to 11:59 p.m. Sunday).  That's an average of 11, for the purpose of easier math (10.71428.....), a day.  With this amount of diaper changing I do laundry roughly every other day using 1.5 ounces of detergent per load.  The detergent runs about $7 (rounding up) for 100 ounces which means it will do 66 (rounding down) loads at $0.11 (rounding up) per load.  I also use a cup or so of vinegar in the rinse the keep the diapers soft.  The jug of vinegar costs about $3.00 (rounding up) on sale for a gallon, or 16 cups, which means it will last me roughly a month.
It generally takes me 3 to 4 months to go through one package of wipes.  They cost $11.99 for 576, making them $0.02 per wipe.
We'll say the extra water and electricity that goes into all this laundry costs $5.00 a month.  Because I'm not sure of the exact amount.  Please correct me if I need to make that number higher.

Per Month	Cost Breakdown
300 diapers changed	...
15-20 loads of laundry	$5-$10
1/4 package baby wipes	$0.36
22.5-30 ounces laundry detergent	$1.58-$2.10
15-20 cups vinegar	$2.85-$3.80

So my monthly total is $9.79-$16.26.

The diapers I would like to use are $6.99 for 31 ($0.23 per).  That would be $69.36 a month.
If I used these diapers I would be spending $53.10-$59.57 more a month.  It would take me 3 months or so to pay back my start up cost.

The cheapest diapers are $20.99 for 144 ($0.15 per).  That would be $45.36 a month.
If I used these diapers I would be spending $29.10-$35.57 more a month.  It would take me 5-6 months to pay back my start up cost.

So even using the cheapest diapers I would save I good chunk of change.  It may not seem like much, but it adds up to around $500 a year, not to mention the money I save by cloth diapering our next child.

Overall I'd say that cloth diapering is worth the effort.  Not that it's even really that hard right now.  It's when you have multiple children in diapers that it gets more difficult (or multiple children in general, really).

The Root of the Evil End.

I was trying to figure out why it's so hard for me to keep a schedule on this blog.  It's certainly not because I don't have the time to write, that is just an excuse I use because I'm loading my time into other things...like staring at facebook urging it to entertain me when I log off of World of Warcraft (WoW) at night.  That last sentence explains exactly how good I am at wasting my time.
So, then, why am I so suck-tastic at posting new entries regularly?

After some thought, and a lot of staring at a blank "new post" box it struck me that the reason I don't write more frequently is because I don't feel like I have anything to say.
I feel a lot like a youtuber I sort of follow whose channel is called Crabstickz:

He mentions in this video that there's sort of a pressure to making new content on youtube, which is sort of how I feel about this blog.  Namely the bit about there already being other awesome youtubers (bloggers) out there, so why post?

The whole problem is I started this blog with a purpose.  I knew, when I started it, that I wasn't going to be in convert instructions forever.  There would come a day that I would actually be Catholic and that day would mean finding things to post about relating to actual life.
The assumption was that life would be amazingly different.

Life as a convert is not really all that different.  I view the world differently and I process things differently, but in terms of actual day-to-day life nothing exciting really happens.  I spend a lot of my time cleaning (a lot, like every day of my life except Sunday - hubby made a rule that I'm not allowed to clean on Sundays, lol), a lot of time chasing down a puppy, and the majority of my time caring for the wee one.  Let it be noted that I am not complaining.  All of that being said, my time for reflection and having revelations about things is a bit limited.
Only because I choose to limit it.
If I have thirty minutes to myself I spend it cleaning, or online in some fashion.  Wasting it away on facebook or youtube...or WoW.  I could choose to spend that time drawing, or crafting, or writing.  Or otherwise being generally productive.

Anyway, the whole point is that I don't post because I don't feel like I have anything to say, and/or I feel like no one is interested in my random/stupid musings.

Maybe I'll try to start posting anyways.  I've been talking to hubs about making a schedule for us, like, so many hours for family time, cleaning, etc.  So maybe I'll schedule some writing time for myself.

I'd like to try and wean myself off of facebook and youtube, and the interwebs in general because I have this crazy idea that it won't be around forever and that I should get used to not having it.
I dunno where that came from but it's here, prodding at the back of my mind...making me feel like a crazy person.

Yep.

Cloth Everything! Except at Night.

I'm the kind of person who scrapes every last bit of peanut butter from the jar I possibly can (and then endeavors to wash all the remaining stuff off for recycling): I don't like to waste things.  While this weirdness is strongest with foodstuffs I try not to waste material goods as well.
That is why I'm trying to cloth diaper.

I say "trying" because I'm still not using cloth at night.  The only reason for this is that I like sleep more than I hate wasting.  I'm not sure I'm up for the commitment of changing the little one's diaper every two hours through the night; he doesn't even wake up that often.  And when he does, I can just roll over and feed him.  Sometimes I wake up and he's latched already, which amazes me since I feel like I'm still learning how to breastfeed.

At any rate.  I like cloth diapering a lot.  The only thing about it is I'm afraid of the pins.  I know you can use the covers as a way to secure the diaper, thus making pins obsolete, but I like the extra security that pins provide for the diaper itself.  With pins, I know the diaper is going to stay put.
So what that meant was I tried not using pins and I didn't like it.
Since I am a total noob at cloth diapering, I looked up a video on youtube:

Then I promptly ordered a Snappi.  I'm still waiting for it to arrive, and I can't wait!
Yep, I feel like a total loser now; I'm excited about a diapering tool.

I've learned through doing that cloth diapering is really not as hard as I thought it would be.  Or as difficult as people talk it up to be.  It even taught me something about my laundry machine: how to use the prewash option.  I'd never used it before, so I actually had to bust out the manual and look up how to activate the thing.


Another thing to consider making cloth: nursing pads.  I go through a lot of these right now, so the cost would be tremendous for me if I used disposable.  I did try some disposables that we got on accident (the packaging was not immediately helpful in discerning re-usable vs. disposable) and I found that the wee one would not latch until I cleaned my nipple off.  So I had my mom take them back and K-Mart actually refunded her (which was super awesome!).  She brought home some cloth ones by the same company - who knew Philips electronics made nursing pads, btw.
Cloth nursing pads are more comfortable and they don't leave any weird residue that baby can taste.  Also, they are saving me a ton of money right now.


I also ordered some cloth pads for postpartum bleeding.
I have always hated disposable pads.  Even pantyliners.  They never stay in one place and I always end up with a sticky paper wedgie an hour or less after putting one on.  I'd been thinking about "going green" with my period stuff ever since reading Dyno-Mom's post about it, I'd just been lazy about actually doing it.  So I finally ordered some and I am super impressed.  I will never use a disposable again and I'm planning on never using tampons either.
These are super comfy and, again, it's easier to do the maintenance than everyone thinks it is.


So the moral of the story - for me - is to try things for myself before being discouraged.  Also a determined stubborn streak is helpful if you should fail once or twice at the get-go...like I did with cloth diapers (hence the youtube video).

Early Arrival!

Oliver Charles arrived two weeks early on August 21st at 11:30 p.m..  He was 7lbs 15oz.

Everything went pretty well.  Labor is intense; it was and wasn't what I was expecting.  I thought I had bad gas when I woke up at four that morning and I ended up calling into work thinking I'd be okay to go in the next day after some rest.  In a couple of hours I woke hubby up and asked him to run to Kings and grab some gas relief meds.  After taking those and waiting for an hour or two with no result I texted my sister-in-law asking if labor could resemble gas, then decided to call the midwife.  She thought maybe I was just rumbling, getting ready for the real thing so we decided to check back later.  My sister-in-law called me back an hour or so later and said the same thing so I just sat tight, riding the waves of contractions as best I could.
I spent a lot of time in the bath.  My water/gas bills might be up a bit this month from reheating bath water, lol.
Our midwife kept checking in every hour or two (depending on how I said I was doing) and since things were progressing pretty steadily her assistant (apprentice?  I dunno what to call her) came over to check on my progress; seeing if my water broke, how I was doing otherwise, etc.  My water hadn't broken yet but contractions were getting more intense.
Sometime around dinner time I stopped being able to have conversations with hubby.  I spent most of my time trying to relax, which is more difficult than the books make it sound.  They all say to breathe through contractions and that does help a little bit, but if you can't relax while you're breathing it's pretty useless.  Breathing slow and deep (belly breathing) is the best kind of breathing but it was hard for me because extending my abdominal muscles hurt if I breathed in low enough.
The fight or flight part of my brain was really not helpful with the whole relaxing thing.  At all.  I was tensing with the pain, which would make it worse (slightly) then somewhere in the back of my mind the words, "I can't" would get sent out in various forms.  It took a lot of concentration to say, "I can" but it helped a lot on my exhales to say what it was I wanted to do.  For instance I might say, "relaxing," or "opening," or "letting the baby out."  For a little bit I was visualizing a flower opening in the sun.  And then I had to choose between visualization and relaxation.  I did keep saying the things I wanted to do, sort of like a mantra and it helped most of the time.  Sometimes the pain freaked me out just enough that I'd need something like rescue remedy to help calm down.
When it got dark the contractions were pretty much right next to each other, but by then our midwife had come.  She came in the door and said, "you're a rock-star," to which I replied, "I don't feel like a rock-star!"  She just laughed a bit I think.
Somewhere between then and pushing I ended up back in the bathroom.  For maybe an hour - keeping track of time was not a thing for me at this point - our midwife rubbed something on my back (probably arnica oil) which felt amazing.  She gave instructions on how to stand; I had been leaning over the sink marching on the balls of my feet and when she saw me doing this she told me to plant my feet and bend my knees a little.  I never would have thought of doing that myself, but it helped a lot.
Somewhere between that and pushing I ended up on my hands and knees hugging the toilet.  I don't remember how I got there or why I did it, but I have never loved a toilet so much in my life.
I think I pushed like that - leaning back and down while I bore down - for an hour?  I'm not really sure how long it took.  All I'm sure of is by that time I was exhausted because I hadn't eaten enough, or slept enough throughout the day, and the toilet lid was cold and awesome support for between contractions/pushing.  It also made a good sort of bar for me to pull on for support while I was kind of kneeling during contractions.
I didn't like the pushing stage because I always thought I was farther along than I actually was.  I think a lot of that had to do with how tired I was; I was dozing a bit between pushes at that point.  It didn't seem like it lasted very long, though, before his head was out and then his body.  There is nothing in the world that is similar to that sensation and I'm not even going to try and describe it, because I'm pretty sure it's impossible.  There is no preparing someone for that through words.
Once he was out I had pretty much no strength left so hubby, our midwife, and her assistant guided me backwards to lean against hubby's legs and the tub to hold the baby.  Then it was up into the birthing chair to deliver the placenta.
Delivering the placenta freaked me out and I'm not sure why.  For whatever reason I was afraid to push it out, but everything went fine.
I got light-headed from the blood loss, so we employed an oxygen mask for a bit while I tried to recharge with cheese and goodbelly.
I did tear, but nothing major.

We nursed and did all the newborn stuff like weighing and Apgar scores and such.  Hubby got the first pee right on his shirt before Oliver was diapered and swaddled.
Our midwife and her assistant sang a wonderful song after giving a few instructions and then we went to bed.  I think that was around 4 a.m.  So twenty-four hours of sleeplessness later, we had ourselves a beautiful baby boy.

He sleeps a lot, so resting right now is easy, but I'm expecting that to change soon.

So that's my poorly written account of how birth was for me.  I don't bite, so please ask anything if you'd like.

So I just wanted to say - ooh Shiney!

I've been a total slacker the last few weeks with this blog.  Not only can I not think of what to write about, I usually place things like cleaning the kitchen or weeding the garden (slowly turning into harvesting the garden!) higher up on my priority list.  I seem to recall saying something about not having very much energy, and that's still true, so until I get the nesting burst you're supposed to get before baby, rationing my energy will have to continue.
I miss writing these to be honest.  It's sort of therapeutic in the same way cleaning the kitchen or weeding the garden is therapeutic for me.
Anyhow..

Because my mother-in-law rocks.

The baby shower was pretty awesome.  Awesome cake and awesome people.  A lot of people, I was surprised at how many people were there.
One of the games was to draw on a blank onesie with fabric markers and pictured is the one my mother-in-law did.  She's an amazing artist!  I took this one to work with me and showed it to the customers I actually have conversations with; everyone loved it and wanted to know where I got it so they could get one too.
I'm really excited for this onesie.
There were so many onesies, I maybe have too many...if that's possible.  We got some more from one of hubby's coworkers.  They are freaking adorable.  They're green and they all have cute little caterpillars on them.  The set came with a zip up hoodie that has caterpillar antennae and a smiley face on the hood, and a plush caterpillar rattling toy.  I think they might be my favorite set of store-bought onesies we got.  Probably because they're not yellow.  I do love yellow, but I tend to favor colors on the cooler end of the spectrum like gray and purple.

I feel very lucky to be a part of this family, and to be building my own family.  By some wild stroke of luck (or providence) I'm married to the man of my dreams, and we're having a baby soon!  I can be a stay at home mom (unless finances don't permit) and my parents are practically gifting us a wonderful house.
I'm not sure how all of this happened, but I am certainly grateful for it.  Thinking about it makes the days I'm having a hard time physically - and these are growing in number as of late - a little easier to manage.

I'm going through this phase now, and I'm going to place the blame entirely on being pregnant, where I don't want to do anything but be near hubby.  It doesn't even matter if we're doing something together, just being in the vicinity of him is all I really want.
I feel like a kid who needs her safety blanket with her at all times.

To jump to another totally unrelated topic:
I'm going to be writing about the birth of our baby.  I feel like there needs to be more positive stories out there about birth.  Granted, this is assuming nothing goes wrong, but even if something does I'll still write about it.  I want to help people understand that birth is not an illness; you don't need to be afraid of it.  There are a lot of alarmists out there, and plenty of stories of gloom and doom.  I'm hoping to be able to add to the stories that are positive and loving.
That's not to say I'm not scared.  Indeed, I'm scared shitless (right after I said you shouldn't be afraid) and I think that being scared is normal if the fear is not unhealthy.  But whatever you do, don't let people fearmonger you.  They'll try, some without even realizing what they're doing, but always remember that birth has been happening for ages and that it's a natural part of being a woman.  Chances are you won't need all the high-tech equipment, but it's nice to know it's there, just in case.

Also:
Do not read What to Expect When You're Expecting.  Just.  Don't.
I will explain why when I do my list of reviews of pregnancy books, which I plan on doing after the birth.

A Shift in the Tide.

On being pregnant:

I used to say things like, "by the time I'm pregnant, birth will be pain-free!"  I was definitely a fan of medicine's version of childbirth.  But that was before I really gave it any thought, or looked into it at all.
Medicine is fantastic for the women who really need it; women are saved pretty regularly by hospital staff for various reasons.  However, the interventions these women need are not the interventions all women need.  There should not be a standard of care where you receive the one thing that has been proven to work regardless of your actually needing it.
Hey, hospitals need to cover their ass.  They could get sued.

I digress.

My original intent is to write about what I thought before and what I think now, because what you think before you live something is not necessarily what you think after or during.
As with my opinion on abortion, my opinion of birth is much different now.
I believe that birth can (and should) be a positive experience for mother and baby.  There are risks to the birth I am choosing to try to have, but there are also risks in choosing a hospital birth.  Birth is not risk free, no matter what you choose.
I will be the first to admit that birth terrifies me somewhat.  I think it's mostly the unknown that scares me.  Every birth is different, someone's story about when they gave birth will be different than what I have to say, so the question remains: what will it be like?  I am intimidated by not knowing what to expect (other than pain).  I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in feeling this way among first-time mothers, which is why hospital birth is so appealing to women - there's a certain sense of safety associated with being in a hospital at a time of potential medical crisis.  And yes, there are benefits to being in a hospital if something does go wrong.

People tend to assume that I have just up and decided to have my baby at home.  With this assumption comes the inevitable, "don't you know that birth is dangerous!?"
Yes, I do know this.  I have made this decision based on the information I have acquired and I really believe it to be the best choice for me.  It is by no means the best choice for everyone, and I have neither said this nor meant to imply it.  It is, I believe, the best choice for me.
In talking to these same people I often find that they base their opinions on an article they read in a magazine, or some form of media coverage of something.  And they are adamant that what they think is the only right way to think.
Some of them have never had children.
Some of them will never have children.
These two latter groups I try to take in stride, as they are usually the most vehement backers of hospital birth.  There is nothing to be done but smile and nod at them, because they will never listen to why I made this decision (and continue to research it).  They only want to tell me how stupid and selfish I am for making it.  One blogger (who happens to be an O.B.) called the home birth "movement" narcissistic.  The people I talk to in person are generally of a similar mindset.
As I said earlier: there is no middle ground.

The above is what bothers me most.  I shall call it "the great divide."  People must have their opinions and your opinion is only okay if it matches their own.  Never-mind being open minded about things, or at the very least receptive.
I understand why people are shocked when I say I'm going to try to have my baby at home.  I know that it's not how the majority would do it.  And I know there is a lot of media available against it.  And of course I know the risks involved with it (they are not as terrible as one is led to believe, but they are still present).  I feel, sometimes, that my understanding is like banging my head against a brick wall.  It doesn't matter that I understand these things, all that matters is that I see the error in my own judgement and the terrible mistake I'm about to make.
Dealing with it is even more difficult when it's coming from people who aren't pregnant and potentially never will be.  I'm glad they are concerned for my well-being, but I would appreciate if they gave me credit for the information I've gathered.  I'm doing my best to make an educated decision, and that does include looking at the situation from all of the angles I can perceive.  So in a way these people are helping me, just not in the manner they had in mind.  Still, I'm not really a fan of being given a rather loud version of the cold shoulder.

When I speak with someone who has a different opinion I try to figure out where the opinion came from.  What information led them here?  I tend to work under the assumption that they had some sort of logical thought process behind it (which is not always the case).
I was one such person in my days of, "just give me pain killers," and my pro-choice opinions.  I now understand what I had to overlook to hold those opinions.  For me, it's a damned lot to overlook.

Being pregnant is a life-altering journey.  It certainly has changed my mind about a number of things and solidified my pro-life stance quite a bit just from what I've learned about Baby's development.  It has also opened my mind to things I'd never thought of, and would never have thought of if I was not pregnant.

I suppose what I'm driving at here is that opinions are all well and good, until you're actually living the situation you've formed your opinion about.
Experience can change a lot about a person, not the least of which being their worldview.

Breastfeeding.

 I'm nervous about actually breastfeeding.  Questions like, "what does it feel like?" pop up in my head a lot.  Or, "won't it be awkward?"
Then I start doubting myself.  Maybe I won't be able to do it right.  What if there are serious problems?  What if I just can't handle it?

So I picked up a book my coworker recommended to me:
I'm currently reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.  This is a great book, and I think I'm going to recommend it to everyone who asks.  It's full of helpful tips and advice.  I'm only about halfway through, but I'd still recommend you pick it up if only to read the first half of it.  It really has eased some of my odd discomfort surrounding the whole topic (there's that stigma popping up).

I do all my reading at work, so a lot more people know I'm preggers now.  They see the book and they ask, "so, is there a reason you're reading that?"  One woman told me to read What to Expect When You're Expecting.
Okay...
Our midwife actually told me not to bother with that book because it was fear-based (like the majority of super public pregnancy/birth stuff).  This lady told me to read it if I was into the "whole natural parenting...thing."  So now I might meander through Barnes and Noble to flip through the book to see what it actually is.
I'm leaning more towards the midwife's opinion about it, though.  Mostly because the woman who recommended the book works for Health One.

At any rate, I just finished a section of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding about returning to work after Baby is born.  You can totally breastfeed while you're working.  It apparently makes for a much happier baby and momma.
All the people who poo-poo the idea of breastfeeding while working should read this section.

What I'm gathering from the book is that breastfeeding is truly easier than formula feeding.  Especially if you like to travel.

The main message is "Breast is Best."
I tend to agree.

But I also understand that there are circumstances in which a woman can truly not breastfeed.  This doesn't make her any less of a mother.
Life happens, things go wrong.

~~~

I'm going to try my very best to give this baby everything she/he needs and deserves.  I don't know what that is yet, but I'm determined to try my hardest.

More Parenting Redundancy.

I am far from perfect.

I make the same mistakes everyone else makes, and I am about to embark on the great experiment that is parenting.  I don't know what I'm doing, or how to avoid the landmines that are surely embedded in the safest looking parts of the road, but I can guess.  That's really all life is; a series of educated guesses.
I can employ my logic and my intuition - though the two seem to fight more often than not - or I can use the great power of Ignorance: choosing to believe whatever I read first.

The latter option is easiest.

So, for a totally ungraceful transition: I read the Times article everyone is so frenzied over.

"Have you seen the Times cover picture!?"

GASP!  It's so dirty!

I heard about the cover from the security guard at work, and from a few others.  Generally they said something very close to the above statement and expressed their shock over the inappropriate nature of the image.

Here's my problem with it: that lady is very smug.
It's like she's looking at you and saying, "look what I can do.  And I'm better than you for it."

The actual article was well-rounded in my opinion.  Towards the end it turned into a short biography of Dr. Sears, the man who wrote the book about attachment parenting that gets so much praise and hatred.
I laughed, and I was genuinely interested in what it had to say.  Nothing in it was really bias as far as I gathered; the author did a fairly good job of presenting the piece from a neutral angle.  I enjoyed it mostly for this because it's hard to find in a magazine.

What I really gathered from the article is that Attachment Parenting is certainly synonymous with Natural Parenting, and in my view, Logical Parenting.  I will one day read the book Dr. Sears wrote (when I get my hands on it) to see what all the hubbub is about because, right now, I just don't see it.

It serves as a sort of looking glass into the polarization of the parenting/birth debate.  There is one side or the other, I have met no middle ground.  And I cannot seem to have a conversation with someone opposed to home birth or natural parenting (things like co-sleeping, breast-feeding, and baby-carrying) without leaving it frustrated.
Why are these things bad?  I just don't get it.
I'm not saying that anyone is to blame for these unsatisfactory conversations - surely the blame is equally distributed if we must play the game - but it would be nice to understand why people consider these things wrong.
Drinking breast milk is no stranger than drinking cow's milk, or goat's milk.  In fact, it's probably less strange to have a gallon of breast milk in your fridge, if you really think about it.  There's a stigma here, and it's very strong.  I write about it being less strange to pour breast milk on your cereal (a friend of mine's ex-husband used to do this) but the honest truth is that I do think it's kinda weird.  The question is why is cow's breast milk any less weird?

I digress.

The point here is that it's kind of silly to not have a middle ground.  We could probably learn something from each-other if we could communicate more effectively.

As a side note.
If you're not easily offended, watch this.  It's hilarious.

~~~

Sorry for the small hiatus.  I caught a cold/sinus infection last week and subsequently had the motivation to do nothing but sleep and stay on the couch.
Being pregnant and sick is only conducive to apathy.

Also, it sucks.

Natural Parenting.

Women feel not only that they must be ever-present for their children but also that they must breast-feed, make their own baby food and eschew disposable diapers. It's a prison for mothers, and it represents as much of a backlash against women's freedom as the right-to-life movement.

-Erica Jong 

Okay, let me first say that I am very well aware that there are circumstances in which you cannot raise a child naturally.  I am in no way trying to degrade the women in these circumstances.  Very often (if not always) they are loving, caring, wonderful parents; something is just preventing them from doing what they might otherwise want to do.  I am responding to this particular woman's rather long-winded article against natural parenting.

This quote is more than a little irritating.  This woman has just railed against everything I consider to be logical in being a good mother.

Ever-present is not a good idea, but being with your child and actually taking a large part in his or her life is very important to raising him or her.  In fact, I might say that part of being a mother is sacrificing your own life to raise the child (or children) you have brought into this world.  That being said, I'm not really sure it seems like sacrifice for the woman who loves her child.  If it does, it is a good kind of sacrifice.

Oh. Wait. Sacrifice is bad.

I forgot where I was living for a moment.

The remainder of this quote is plain ridiculous.

Formula feeding should be your absolute last result.  Unless you like chemicals then, by all means, formula feed.  We wonder where all this hyperactivity is coming from in our children.  Would it not be logical to connect their diet to their behavior?  No?  Is it it too radical to think that processed foods (that are largely made of practically synthetic things) may actually be bad for you?

Early in the shift to hospital birth women were routinely X-rayed to make sure they had a big enough pelvis.  Oops, the babies got cancer.  Later, women were given a drug to help morning sickenss that caused severe (by my standards) birth defects.  Who is to say that in another few years there won't be widely publicized information linking formula to colic and other digestive problems?

Oh, and forget microwaving your formula: it can cause the formula to become toxic.  Not fatally so, I assume, but how many toxins are you okay with your baby ingesting?  They do label formulas with a warning against nuking them these days, but it took a bit for anyone to admit something was wrong.

It should follow that I am pro breast-feeding.  I am a formula baby myself and I'm just fine now, but it is something I would like to avoid if I can with my children.  And my reasoning seems logical to me, the same way eating a healthy, natural diet is logical to me.

Disposable diapers is a choice.  I'm going to try cloth, because I'd like to minimize my household's waste output.

As for the last bit:

I'm terribly sorry that having children also comes with responsibility.  If you'd like to be a completely free person don't have a child.  Children are not pets; they are a lifetime commitment.  As with any lifetime commitment (such as marriage) there are things that need to be sacrificed, there are compromises to be made, there are responsibilities to adhere to.

This is the line of thinking that leads to the concept of painless child birth.
What is that doing to us and our babies?

~~~

I am a woman.

I was created to be nurturing, loving, and strong.

I'm not imprisoning myself when I choose to raise my child in a healthy way.

Women have been raising children this way for ages, what is wrong with it now?

I am a woman.

And I find it ridiculous that others would unabashedly decline the logic of natural parenting because it's difficult.  Life is difficult.

Get over it.

Why People Think I'm Crazy.

Because I'm crazy.

By society's standards I am, anyway.

I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom (SaHM) - since I can remember anyway.  The idea of the traditional family structure appeals to me.
Recently (within the past few years) I have lost faith in the public school system, deciding to home-school.  Homeschooling is a very much misunderstood endeavor, and I think I could be justified in looking to the government for the reason why.  The same reason I can look at the government for the reason people have a stigma about home births.
I want to avoid a hospital birth if I can.  I don't want the pressures of vaccinations, epidurals, pitocin, or which birthing position.  Lying down while you have a baby is the worst position you could probably be in.  Work with gravity, not against it.
I became Catholic: I joined an organization that appears to be against everything society is for.

Now, I'm pursuing healthy food.
People think I'm crazy for not using microwaves.  I've somehow gained a healthy (or unhealthy, depending on who you are) mistrust of microwaves over the last four years or so.  There was not one in my old apartment and there is not one on the counters of my current kitchen.  I have kept the microwave my old roommates left and stored it under the stairs for visiting guests who stay a while and absolutely cannot live without it.  I do understand why people think I'm odd for refusing to have a microwave.
People think I'm crazy for turning down fast food.  A friend of mine brings me things from out and about occasionally.  Last week she brought me Del Taco and Arby's.  I ate them, because I always feel guilty when people give me food and I will eat it rather than waste their money.  But dayumn.  I broke out like nothing else and felt pretty miserable the rest of the week after the fish sandwich.  This week she offered me a hot fudge sundae from McDonald's.  I declined and she got fussy saying it was only frozen yogurt (I'd like to know exactly what's in their "vanilla reduced fat ice cream").  A lot of the time people get angry with me for saying I prefer real food to fast food.  I'm sorry, but if eating better food makes me feel better, I'm going to do it.  Whether or not you think I'm being "too healthy."

The point is that some people just don't believe that eating better makes you feel better.  They say things like, "I feel fine now, so there must not be anything wrong with it," but if you've ever tried an organic chicken over a "regular" one you know the difference.
On a similar note; tomatoes are proof that agribusiness fails.  I hate tomatoes, at least I thought I did.  But organic or home-grown tomatoes are sweet and juicy and generally delicious.
Eating healthy is not only better for you, but you end up with food that has a richer, more satisfying flavor.  The chemical shortcuts they take to mass-produce food (which is a necessary evil at this point) cut from the quality of the product.  Not to mention what they do to the earth itself.

But the price!
Oh, how do I budget for organic food?  How, with so little money!?
It's not easy; there are sacrifices that need to be made (like that jar of Nutella that looks so delicious sitting in the baking aisle).  In the end you have to make the commitment to your body before you start comparing prices.
Actually, it's just better not to compare prices and be a sale shark.  If you compare prices, you will always second-guess your purchase.  At least if you're a cheap-skate like me.


So, here is some advice from one crazy to another potential crazy:
Make the commitment to yourself first.  If you're going to embark on the journey into the whole food diet, you'll need that extra willpower of, "this will be worth it in the end."

Like the Jamba Juice cup says:
Your body is a temple...

I want Jamba Juice now.....curse me!