More Parenting Redundancy.

I am far from perfect.

I make the same mistakes everyone else makes, and I am about to embark on the great experiment that is parenting.  I don't know what I'm doing, or how to avoid the landmines that are surely embedded in the safest looking parts of the road, but I can guess.  That's really all life is; a series of educated guesses.
I can employ my logic and my intuition - though the two seem to fight more often than not - or I can use the great power of Ignorance: choosing to believe whatever I read first.

The latter option is easiest.

So, for a totally ungraceful transition: I read the Times article everyone is so frenzied over.

"Have you seen the Times cover picture!?"

GASP!  It's so dirty!

I heard about the cover from the security guard at work, and from a few others.  Generally they said something very close to the above statement and expressed their shock over the inappropriate nature of the image.

Here's my problem with it: that lady is very smug.
It's like she's looking at you and saying, "look what I can do.  And I'm better than you for it."

The actual article was well-rounded in my opinion.  Towards the end it turned into a short biography of Dr. Sears, the man who wrote the book about attachment parenting that gets so much praise and hatred.
I laughed, and I was genuinely interested in what it had to say.  Nothing in it was really bias as far as I gathered; the author did a fairly good job of presenting the piece from a neutral angle.  I enjoyed it mostly for this because it's hard to find in a magazine.

What I really gathered from the article is that Attachment Parenting is certainly synonymous with Natural Parenting, and in my view, Logical Parenting.  I will one day read the book Dr. Sears wrote (when I get my hands on it) to see what all the hubbub is about because, right now, I just don't see it.

It serves as a sort of looking glass into the polarization of the parenting/birth debate.  There is one side or the other, I have met no middle ground.  And I cannot seem to have a conversation with someone opposed to home birth or natural parenting (things like co-sleeping, breast-feeding, and baby-carrying) without leaving it frustrated.
Why are these things bad?  I just don't get it.
I'm not saying that anyone is to blame for these unsatisfactory conversations - surely the blame is equally distributed if we must play the game - but it would be nice to understand why people consider these things wrong.
Drinking breast milk is no stranger than drinking cow's milk, or goat's milk.  In fact, it's probably less strange to have a gallon of breast milk in your fridge, if you really think about it.  There's a stigma here, and it's very strong.  I write about it being less strange to pour breast milk on your cereal (a friend of mine's ex-husband used to do this) but the honest truth is that I do think it's kinda weird.  The question is why is cow's breast milk any less weird?

I digress.

The point here is that it's kind of silly to not have a middle ground.  We could probably learn something from each-other if we could communicate more effectively.

As a side note.
If you're not easily offended, watch this.  It's hilarious.

~~~

Sorry for the small hiatus.  I caught a cold/sinus infection last week and subsequently had the motivation to do nothing but sleep and stay on the couch.
Being pregnant and sick is only conducive to apathy.

Also, it sucks.

The Benefits of Home Birth...and such.

So, I'm still discovering new things about the different kinds of birth you can have, but here's what I've got so far:

Hospitals tend to end up in cascading interventions that usually benefit the doctor, not the mother.  They will tell you all sorts of things to manipulate you into doing what they want, and you don't know whether these things they say are true. 
When they take your baby away "to run tests" the nurses could very well just be bottle feeding him/her regardless of your consent: you don't know what's happening once your baby is removed.
I'm of the opinion that they take your baby far too quickly, and most of the time they cut the chord too soon.
As a side note: everything the OB/GYN office gives me to take home has some advertisement for chord blood banking.  This seems like an expensive bonfire to me, although I could see the possible benefits.

I don't know anything about birthing centers as of yet.

Home birth seems to be the way to go if you are low-risk.  Natural birth is ideal, regardless of location, but at home you can at least be more comfortable with your surroundings, and you won't have a bunch of medical staff pressuring you about pitosin.
Additionally, your baby is not removed immediately so you can nurse as soon as baby is ready.
Home birth also opens up options for things like lotus birth (where you don't cut/tie the chord until the placenta falls off on it's own) and water birth.
It really just seems like being at home is the best way to go, if you can.

According to The Business of Being Born America has the highest infant/mother mortality rate during childbirth of all the industrialized countries.  Why?  Because midwives didn't integrate into hospitals.  In fact, the hospitals launched an intensive smear campaign against midwives claiming the method of birth was unsafe.  In reality, it was safer than the hospital.

Yes, things do go wrong during childbirth.  But things go wrong in every day life as well.

Hubby raises a good point when I complain about all the unsolicited advice/admonishments I receive at work:
Most of these people are likely to be pro-choice.  This translates to the saying, "it's my body," so what do they care what I do with my body?

That brings me to what people have said to me.

• A friend of mine sent me a URL to a site all about how dangerous home birth is.  I appreciate the concern; I'll take it with all the stories I read/hear about hospital shenanigans.
• The first thing that was said to me was, "I gotta fatten you up!" followed a bit later by, "oh, you're pregnant you can eat crap now."
• I shouldn't be lifting anything, regardless of weight.
• I shouldn't eat/drink unpasteurized stuff, or anything raw for that matter.
• Don't touch the litter box.
•  "You painted!?  You can't be painting!"  Sure I can, I have an enormous window in the room that needed paint on a total of two walls.  It's not like I shut myself into an unventilated room and sat in there with wet paint for five hours.
• Sit down, lay down, or otherwise be inactive.
• No alcohol, even just a sip is terrible for the baby.
• Co-sleeping is dangerous.  You could suffocate/crush your baby.  Your baby could fall off the bed and die.
• Home birth is dangerous.  You could die.
• "I have so many baby clothes!  Let me know what you're having."  We're not finding out, sorry.
• Dangle your wedding band over your belly: if it goes in circles, your baby is a girl; side to side, your baby is a boy.
  I did this out of sheer amusement.  The ring did nothing, so does that mean our baby is undecided?

I think that's it.


In regards to my last post:
It's interesting to see the great divide between modern mothers and natural mothers.  There is little to no middle ground and there's no possible way of having a decent discussion about it with a lot of people.  It's an emotional topic, so people tend to react emotionally which generally shuts down rational thinking.
I see this a lot, working in the HCA corporate building.  There are a few people into living naturally, but most of them are convinced that hospital birth is the only way to go because home birth is apparently for heathens who don't value life.  I call these people hypocrites because it's very likely they're fine with abortion.

Why People Think I'm Crazy.

Because I'm crazy.

By society's standards I am, anyway.

I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom (SaHM) - since I can remember anyway.  The idea of the traditional family structure appeals to me.
Recently (within the past few years) I have lost faith in the public school system, deciding to home-school.  Homeschooling is a very much misunderstood endeavor, and I think I could be justified in looking to the government for the reason why.  The same reason I can look at the government for the reason people have a stigma about home births.
I want to avoid a hospital birth if I can.  I don't want the pressures of vaccinations, epidurals, pitocin, or which birthing position.  Lying down while you have a baby is the worst position you could probably be in.  Work with gravity, not against it.
I became Catholic: I joined an organization that appears to be against everything society is for.

Now, I'm pursuing healthy food.
People think I'm crazy for not using microwaves.  I've somehow gained a healthy (or unhealthy, depending on who you are) mistrust of microwaves over the last four years or so.  There was not one in my old apartment and there is not one on the counters of my current kitchen.  I have kept the microwave my old roommates left and stored it under the stairs for visiting guests who stay a while and absolutely cannot live without it.  I do understand why people think I'm odd for refusing to have a microwave.
People think I'm crazy for turning down fast food.  A friend of mine brings me things from out and about occasionally.  Last week she brought me Del Taco and Arby's.  I ate them, because I always feel guilty when people give me food and I will eat it rather than waste their money.  But dayumn.  I broke out like nothing else and felt pretty miserable the rest of the week after the fish sandwich.  This week she offered me a hot fudge sundae from McDonald's.  I declined and she got fussy saying it was only frozen yogurt (I'd like to know exactly what's in their "vanilla reduced fat ice cream").  A lot of the time people get angry with me for saying I prefer real food to fast food.  I'm sorry, but if eating better food makes me feel better, I'm going to do it.  Whether or not you think I'm being "too healthy."

The point is that some people just don't believe that eating better makes you feel better.  They say things like, "I feel fine now, so there must not be anything wrong with it," but if you've ever tried an organic chicken over a "regular" one you know the difference.
On a similar note; tomatoes are proof that agribusiness fails.  I hate tomatoes, at least I thought I did.  But organic or home-grown tomatoes are sweet and juicy and generally delicious.
Eating healthy is not only better for you, but you end up with food that has a richer, more satisfying flavor.  The chemical shortcuts they take to mass-produce food (which is a necessary evil at this point) cut from the quality of the product.  Not to mention what they do to the earth itself.

But the price!
Oh, how do I budget for organic food?  How, with so little money!?
It's not easy; there are sacrifices that need to be made (like that jar of Nutella that looks so delicious sitting in the baking aisle).  In the end you have to make the commitment to your body before you start comparing prices.
Actually, it's just better not to compare prices and be a sale shark.  If you compare prices, you will always second-guess your purchase.  At least if you're a cheap-skate like me.


So, here is some advice from one crazy to another potential crazy:
Make the commitment to yourself first.  If you're going to embark on the journey into the whole food diet, you'll need that extra willpower of, "this will be worth it in the end."

Like the Jamba Juice cup says:
Your body is a temple...

I want Jamba Juice now.....curse me!

Boulder Billboards

"Man has the dreadful power of refusing to think"
- Fr. Ronald Knox

The above is taken from a chapter in the book I'm reading (I hate to be redundant, but there it is).  Having been a person who was not thinking, I find this quote amusing.  I'm sure someone will take offense, but it is intended to be lighthearted.  It's also true; working in customer service I can attest that perfectly intelligent people do (often) refuse to think.  We'd rather follow mindlessly.  It's easier.

At any rate, I was reading the paper this morning and came across The Open Forum in today's Opinion section:

Atheists' billboards: "God is an imaginary friend"

There were three responses published; all cordial, but all opposing the sentiment of the billboard.  The title of The Open Forum sort of softens the actual text on the billboard:

GOD IS AN IMAGINARY FRIEND.
CHOOSE REALITY, IT WILL BE BETTER FOR ALL OF US.
The Colorado Coalition of Reason
www.cocore.org

One response that was published said,

If Boulder Atheists' goal is separation of church and state, why don't they just say that?  They want to "encourage dialogue," they say, but dialogue can quickly become a monologue if you attack the intelligence of your audience.  I suspect "believers" know what reality is...
-Bob Benham

I understand the purpose of the billboard.  What I don't understand is the logic behind it.  They call themselves the Coalition of Reason, but I find their phrasing to be a little on the unreasonable side.  Choose reality, because what you believe is so wrong it affects everyone else in a negative way.  Uhm....what?  How is that reasonable?

I also disagree with the statement that choosing to live my life differently would be better for everyone else.  Living a Christian life is akin to living a good life.  No, you don't have to be Christian to live a good life, but the average person might be more inclined if he or she believed there to be consequences to their actions.  No, you don't have to be Christian to believe that, but following a faith certainly helps.

The people that paid the money to put up this sign are perhaps misguided.  Just as Bob Benham said, a dialogue quickly becomes a monologue if you attack your audience.

There is humor to be found in this, however, because it is better to laugh at it than to be irate.

There are more.  Apparently this is a thing:

 

On a related note, have any of you seen the Mormon billboards?  They're just a little on the creepy side:

pictured: creepiness.

 Check out that guy on the far right.  He's friggin' stoked about being Mormon.
These normal, unassuming people are Mormon!  It's awesome! They think it's awesome, you should try it!

Nothing against Mormonism, I just think the ads are creepy.

If you find any Christian/Catholic billboards, do share.  It's quite fun to see what people decide to advertise to the world.

The point of all this talk about billboards is this: if you ask me, I don't think religion belongs on billboards period.  It shouldn't be something you sell.