The Root of the Evil End.

I was trying to figure out why it's so hard for me to keep a schedule on this blog.  It's certainly not because I don't have the time to write, that is just an excuse I use because I'm loading my time into other things...like staring at facebook urging it to entertain me when I log off of World of Warcraft (WoW) at night.  That last sentence explains exactly how good I am at wasting my time.
So, then, why am I so suck-tastic at posting new entries regularly?

After some thought, and a lot of staring at a blank "new post" box it struck me that the reason I don't write more frequently is because I don't feel like I have anything to say.
I feel a lot like a youtuber I sort of follow whose channel is called Crabstickz:

He mentions in this video that there's sort of a pressure to making new content on youtube, which is sort of how I feel about this blog.  Namely the bit about there already being other awesome youtubers (bloggers) out there, so why post?

The whole problem is I started this blog with a purpose.  I knew, when I started it, that I wasn't going to be in convert instructions forever.  There would come a day that I would actually be Catholic and that day would mean finding things to post about relating to actual life.
The assumption was that life would be amazingly different.

Life as a convert is not really all that different.  I view the world differently and I process things differently, but in terms of actual day-to-day life nothing exciting really happens.  I spend a lot of my time cleaning (a lot, like every day of my life except Sunday - hubby made a rule that I'm not allowed to clean on Sundays, lol), a lot of time chasing down a puppy, and the majority of my time caring for the wee one.  Let it be noted that I am not complaining.  All of that being said, my time for reflection and having revelations about things is a bit limited.
Only because I choose to limit it.
If I have thirty minutes to myself I spend it cleaning, or online in some fashion.  Wasting it away on facebook or youtube...or WoW.  I could choose to spend that time drawing, or crafting, or writing.  Or otherwise being generally productive.

Anyway, the whole point is that I don't post because I don't feel like I have anything to say, and/or I feel like no one is interested in my random/stupid musings.

Maybe I'll try to start posting anyways.  I've been talking to hubs about making a schedule for us, like, so many hours for family time, cleaning, etc.  So maybe I'll schedule some writing time for myself.

I'd like to try and wean myself off of facebook and youtube, and the interwebs in general because I have this crazy idea that it won't be around forever and that I should get used to not having it.
I dunno where that came from but it's here, prodding at the back of my mind...making me feel like a crazy person.

Yep.