The most annoying lesson in this whole adventure is that I am not in control of my temper the way I thought I was. Particularly in the morning before the wee one and I take morning nap. It's all well and good to say I'm in control of my emotions, but applying that to trying to catch a puppy for twenty minutes in the freezing cold is a different matter entirely. That situation is infuriating because Brienne thinks she's playing a hilarious game while I'm fuming angry with her. The other day I scolded her for ten minutes once I finally got her inside. Because dogs can understand English...
I'm not proud to say that I've smacked her with things. Most notably the brand new (to me) shoe I had just brought home from Goodwill. After nursing the baby to sleep for bed I got back up and found that she had grabbed the shoe off the back of the couch and decimated the heel and toe. I was beside myself with anger; I had been really happy to find some shoes, dangit.
I feel like a little person when this happens. I should be better than that.
So I decided to channel my frustration into a guide for anyone who maybe needs help with their puppy, or dog.
First of all - and most important:
Do not use negative reinforcement. This does not mean that you can't tell your puppy "no." This means that you shouldn't do things like shove your puppy's nose in their pee/poop while potty training, or smack the dog with an item you don't want them to have. Why? Because smacking your puppy with an object he or she is not supposed to have teaches them to be afraid of you. The punishment is connected to you and not the object. For this reason, if you shove your puppy's nose in an accident they just had, you're teaching them that pottying in front of you is bad which can result in poop eating (dispose of the evidence) and ninja peeing. And no one wants a ninja puppy, because walking into a room and stepping in puppy pee is very unpleasant. I wish, in all the things I read about potty training, this explanation had been provided. Instead, everything I read said, "don't do this!" without going into the consequences of actually doing it.
Remind yourself as much as you need to that a bad behaviour is simply the result of lack of learning, or some kind of reinforcement. In no way does a puppy spite you. There is no thought process in dogs that says, "I know my owner dislikes this, so I'm going to do it to tick them off. That'll show them!"
If your dog is not doing something you're asking - like coming when called - take a moment to think about why. Rarely is this the dog's fault. Here are some potential reasons, using the example of coming when called:
- Your puppy doesn't know the command yet.
- You've called your puppy to you to punish him or her.
- You've unintentionally punished your puppy when you called them.
Brienne won't come if there's snow on the ground because if she comes inside, the fun ends. - If you're not in a position to enforce the command and your puppy chooses to ignore you while he or she is still learning.
What this does is teaches your puppy that the command actually means nothing, so no response is need on his or her part.
Don't scoff at clicker training. A clicker is just $2 at Petco, and can be a really useful tool for timing and consistency when teaching a new command.
Have a baby gate, crate, puppy play pen, or some other means of confining your puppy to certain areas of your house. This is handy for training a puppy how to properly greet guests, and to generally keep them from mischief.
One of the more important things to remember is that until your puppy is 100% reliable in all environments and situations, have them on lead. Not only is it embarrassing when your puppy runs away and refuses to return, it's not safe.
If you're not confident in your puppy's recall command, don't take the chance.
On a related note:
We kept Brienne on lead inside for a long time. This helped tons with potty training and other situations (like greeting, and Halloween trick-or-treaters) by allowing me to keep her near me at all times. It also did wonders for my stress levels because when I sat down to nurse the baby I wasn't spending that whole time wondering where the dog had gone off to, and what mischief she was getting into.
Alternatively, you can use a puppy play pen.
Get a training lead! We have a 50 footer, and it is great for playing fetch and teaching various things - especially come when called. The idea of going to a dog park is less intimidating now, because I know I can have some measure of control over situations Brienne might get herself into.
The Golden Rule to any dog - especially an untrained one - is to be patient. It is way easier said than done, but it helps if you don't project your emotions onto your pet. Like I said before, your puppy doesn't hate you, he or she just doesn't know better.
The Silver Rule is consistency. Patience first, then consistency.
Here are two youtube channels that have helped me immensely!
Zak George
Tab289
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